Posted by: mylovingheart | August 28, 2013

Making Good Choices for Love!

ImageLately I have come to understand more that everyday we have a choice to make.  Choices on which my happiness largely depends, involve judgments about the people I encounter as I travel through life.  Whom can I trust?  Who will bring out the best in me?  Who will betray me?  Who will save me from myself?  These judgments are important in direct proportion to the closeness of the relationship.  If I am deceived by a salesperson, I have lost only money.  If I give my heart to someone unworthy of the gift, I lose more than I can afford.

I realized that my journey over the last two years has had me look really hard at the choices I have made.  Because of my own fear and grief, I chose to have men in my life, and even clients in my profession, that were not supportive of me.  I only want to look at the good that is in people.  I also realized that I search and search for just a grain of good, so that I do not have to look at the whole person.  I did not realize how much it was hurting me to let that person keep taking and me just giving and giving.   I knew that in order for me to be a happy and loving woman, I had to heal me.  That I had to fully look at who I was and say “NO” to being the only person that was doing all the giving and keeping the relationship going.  It had to be reciprocated.  It had to be two people who truly wanted to be together.   Sometimes you just get so caught up in the idea of romance you do not look at the character of the person you are trying to have a relationship with.   Thank goodness I have so many friends that love me enough to speak truth about what they are observing, but most of all I had to listen to what they were saying and realize they were right.  The hardest step is doing something about it.   Also I knew that God was showing me the red flags, but I just did not want to see them.  I think God is willing to let us go down a path with someone so that we can have that experience and learn from it.  I have to thank God  for getting me back on the path that I am supposed to be on.

What I realized is that sometimes things have to go wrong before they can go right.  Sometimes we have to let the wrong people walk out before we allow the right people to walk in.  Sometimes we have to feel weak in order to know what it’s like to feel strong.  Sometimes you have to be broken to realize you’ll never be shattered.

What I found was that letting go takes love.  Love of the person that you are trying to have a relationship with to accept them fully for who they are.  To be willing to realize that they have their own struggles and limitations that are keeping them from loving you.   When you let them go does not mean you stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.  To let go is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization I can’t control another.  To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it’s to make the most of myself.  To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.  To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their destinies.  To let go is not to deny, but to accept.  But most of all to let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.

When I let go and made good choices I allowed an abundance of love to come into my life and to be the true woman that is in the picture above, throwing her arms wide open and is free and happy at all that life has to offer.

For now I choose LOVE, JOY and FREEDOM, opening my heart and allowing WONDERFUL THINGS to flow into my life!  How about you? What are you going to choose for YOU?

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