Posted by: mylovingheart | January 5, 2013

It’s About Time!


Often I have heard people tell me “you just need time”.  I never could decide if time was my enemy or my friend.  Believe me, it has been both at different intervals in my life.  Many times I just wanted time to speed up so that I could pass quickly through the things that were unpleasant.  Then I found all the joys that come with time.  For awhile now I have been taking time to get to know who I am without being a wife, partner, caretaker, and all the other roles I took on.  I found myself being confronted with being on my own and wondering “well who are you?”  Not everyone is comfortable with being forced to look at themselves in the mirror and figure out who they are.  It required spending quiet time with myself and God in order to love the woman that was inside.  To allow myself to be happy, loved, peaceful, and full of life.  I definitely needed time to heal and be ready for this new chapter.  There are still moments of being lonely and sad and wishing things were different, but I have found that over time even those moments are getting further apart.

What I found was that it was all in the way you look at things.  I may not have the love of one particular man in my life, but God has brought me the love of friends and family.  Instead of thinking how lonely I am, I have come to realize that God makes sure that I am never alone.  Time has shown me that the huge void that was created when my husband died, has now been replaced with an absolute appreciation and love for life.  To fully embrace each person and experience that has been along the way.  Most of all to become content and at peace with this particular time in my life.

What I have also come to accept and surrender to is that absolutely nothing will happen until God is ready.  It is strictly on his timing and not mine. There have been too many times that I have said “I am ready, I want this now” and God has told me it will be when he thinks I am ready and not any sooner.  Always when I look back at different events, I can see that it was at the perfect time.  I just needed to have faith and trust in his timing!

What I have discovered was “yes, I needed time!” to learn that life is short.  Also that I needed to love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never ever regret anything that made me smile! Just give yourself time and it will happen in your life too!

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