Posted by: mylovingheart | September 4, 2012

Time for a New Plan!

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My husband used to laugh at how once I had made up my mind about something you just needed to get out of my way because I had a plan with a capital “P”.  Little did he realize that the plan was never quite defined nor had nearly enough research behind it.  For me it was great just having comfort in knowing that I had a plan.  Often times it was hard to stick to the plan because something else came along that caught my attention.

In looking back I was very angry that my original plan of having a husband who loved and adored me, raising my children and watching them grow, and all of things we had worked so hard so that we could live a good life was now gone.  I absolutely loved and adored Plan A.  It was good and it had its moments of trials and tribulations but it worked for us.  What I had to grow to accept was that God had a different plan.  That this was only the building blocks for a new chapter.

Having always been able to adapt pretty easily I thought Plan B can’t be that hard.  Needless to say I found adapting to Plan B not as easy as I thought.  There have been many a day that has been spent with God asking him why and asking him to please reveal to me what I am supposed to do.  What I kept hearing was that he needed me to get to know who I am.  That he needed me to know who I was without being all of those roles that I had taken on over the years–wife, mother, caretaker, etc.  At 50+ years old you have to stop and figure out who are you without being those things.  How do you stop being a “caretaker” to everyone when that is what has defined you for so long.  God was gentle and kind in no matter how much I kicked and screamed to reveal to me who he saw me to be.  It required faith, and I mean a lot of faith, to say to myself that whatever he has called me to, he will enable me to do.  To have complete delight in my heart in knowing that the way had been prepared for this moment.  That God knows all of the details of Plan B and I just need to trust his will for my life and have faith in his promises. That there will be no struggle, no shrinking dread, no anguish of surrender, only joy and love, and awe and hope and worship.  That there is delight in my heart because I know that the way has been prepared for this, and now I can lay my whole self over to God’s will. Yes this new chapter in my life is going to be with joyful anticipation.  Because he loves me and you that much!


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