mylovingheart

No one can prepare you for the wide range of emotions that comes with losing someone you loved.  For seven years I felt that I had done most of my grieving.  Being mad at the cancer, being depressed over how it was affecting me and my family, and praying for a miracle.  Being naive at the time I thought intellectually that I had prepared for when he would be gone.  Did not know just how much denial I was in.  There are the usual things to keep you busy so you really do not have to think about what is happening to you inside.  Thank goodness that God knew that while I was telling him “I’m good I don’t really need you right now” that I really needed him more than ever.

What I learned over the next few months that God knew I was not truly listening or seeking him so he sent messengers (friends) to hold me close.  What I needed more than ever was just to be hugged.  Even though you think you are doing fine somehow a hug–that physical comfort–was a way to feel loved more than words could ever express.  I know each person going through a loss handles their grief in different ways.  Believe me everyone going through a loss needs to know that God is near and that they are not alone.  What I discovered was that God knows what we all need for today.  Every time someone hugged me I knew it was a hug from God!!  Because he loved me that much and he loves you that much too!